Saturday, August 27, 2005
first i would like to congratulate all you guys who have finished the examinations too... although there were moments of joy and sorrow, i am still glad that it has finally been over. before the examination and we were talking about the activities that we would be doing after the examinations, it seemed real far that such an examination would be over but now we have passed it already before i could actually remember. so its nothing to me since it has passed. so sorry to those by showing my serious face when studying... cos i am always like that when i have to get serious... don't worry i did not change. lets look forward and enjoy our holidays instead.
i have suddenly thought about this. i recently got an image and pictured it. maybe thats who i am and want to be in reality. i thought of just goign around in a place where that era is probably the cowboy era i guess. i was just clad in my underwear with only a pair of rugged pants and i was carrying a long shot gun. cool sia... maybe this is the real me that i would want to be. be carefree and shoot down anything in order to uphold justice.
but if i were to picture a fairyland, i would actually describe it as the closest haven to heaven. and i have actually had the chance of dreaming it. i was actually lying in a real snow white place, where all i could see in my eyes were only white. with a gigantig fir trees that was carpeted with white snow and icicles dropping down gleaming a transparent and crystal shine. i was wearing a white long dress and was resting to see the fir tree and the sky, only to be smiling away on white... maybe the ground was coated with a cover of white feathers. thats my fairyland. where i am feeling happy and at ease only to be away from any troubles
3:46 AM
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I just felt like adding in a teeny weeny post to destress. its been quite a quick time and we have all finished our stats and econs paper. hmm.... hope we will be able to do well too! yea~ tomorrow's acct and followed by pom on friday. so lets get it done and celebrate. but before you guys do that, let me have enough sleep first. i am desperately lacking sleep. ultimate mugger of the last minute. burn midnight oil like nobody's business. oh well, i'm just lazy~
but anyway, i think no one wants to read my blog to see such boring stuff.. so back to the point, i am very happy to see the results of the project superstar. male finalist wei lian and female finalist kelly. i really wish to see the showdown at the indoor stadium and i have inside info~ hehe... its because i have connections! heard that mediacorp is going to limit the amount of people turning up for the events. only immediate families and friends are able to get the tickets. of course, my brother has helped me ask for a ticket too~ but kelly's sister says she might not be getting it and says she will have to allocate the tickets on a list basis. haha... never mind about that. just hope that i have a chance in seeing her sister, kelly perform. and its no ordinary stuff. but VIP seats! great~ i really hope that i can go... but one of my friends said that wei lian won due to sympathy votes... i beg to differ. if you have the ability, why don't all those who are able to see take part in the contest??? thats because of cowardness. but to me, wei lian has crossed his personal barrier even though he is only visually disabled but if this is a chraity show, why is it that other visually disabled contestants did not get in that far? that highlights the point that this show is based on ability and not just plain kindness.... to all the people out there dissing wei lian... GET A LIFE DUDE... SERIOUSLY thats all that i want to say to them.
wei lian is talented and tries to attempt new things on stage which i feel that is real brave and on top of that, his singing has touched me. no doubt that his singing style is a little out of the time, you guys know what is retro? and i must say that i am those'old' type of people at times. i appreciate things that some teenagers may not see as something important. but i think if other contestants ( i shall not name who) got in just because of looks, how are you able to represent singapore and be bigger than stefanie sun? impossible right? then wouldn't it sound more like the F4? think about it.... to me, its not wei lian who is blind... its you guys who question his ability that are totally blind by clouded idol fantasies.... i still support all the contestabts who have made it sooo far.. okay on a last note, you peeps who diss wei lian GET A LIFE GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4:57 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
okay... although i refrained from typing this message out, i felt that there was just this need to tell.
yesterday, i finally had the courage to ask for his number from my friend, i typed the message half-heartedly and when it was sent, i regretted having to think of what my friend would feel. but she just gave an one word reply. i think i better draft out the conversation to roughly show you guys how it had been...
me: can you pass me fu hao's number?
her: why?
me: its because i feel that he had explained a lot but in the end, i did not join you guys. i feel bad and so i want to apologise to him personally.
her: its okay if you don't join us, i will tell him. blah blah blah....
okay, so my efforts were not paid off... i had to pass my regards to him through this friend of mine. xiu hui felt that she liked the guy too therefore she was reluctant to just give me the number. yep, same sentiments exactly... look, if a number was all a friend needed and the reason was powerful enough, you wouldn't hesitate and go through the trouble of telling him yourself right? this is from the women's pointo f view... so wei xin, what are your views then?
and so my day ended off quite a shitty way.. my oh well, i do not have anyway of contacting him anymore. xiu hui suggested helping me to find him on the friendster search.. thank you xiu xiu. you guys can also take a look of the girl acc: joyce... what a shitty day and feeling
6:36 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2005
just that you might wanna know. i have received the results as well as the certificate to the elementary 2 grade in my japanese course. thank you to anyone who might be concerned with the standard i performed at.
its a 95/100 nighty-five percent~ so you might think that i did well.. well oh well, i think so too... except for the few careless mistakes i made... but thats because i am not perfect
11:19 PM
i am back again. guess all of you can forget about bothering about the post on coming back 27 august to make a post.
on 12 august, my family welcomed a pleasant addition. a bird! its such a cutie. it began with my brother hearing different chirping sounds and he went to play with the bird while feeding it with some grains. then we decided to keep it it a same cage. it was considered really small for its size. my brother and i went and took a bus to serangoon north where we bought some food and a metal cage.
it was a great feeling now that we have built a rapport with the cute bird. will upload the picture of it when i have the chance. its auch a cutesy darling... i just remembered someone saying that you will grow to look like your pet. heh! thats great. i don't mind looking like my cute little bird.
we have a family of eight now! big big family~ the bird's actually known as wang fu that i just thoguht of in an instant but my grandma forgot and kept calling it fu lai... alright.. seems cute too! prosperity's thats heading our way~ his name is fu hao den there's a similarity in the names that i just noticed. get it clear~ it did not call it fu lai initially but oh well... both of them are cute and that's all i wanna know
11:05 PM
Thursday, August 11, 2005
simply put, the title means that i have nothing else to do. okay. before i talk about recent happenings, i promised to all that i would continue with my previous blog entry.
lets see... okay.. more about the guy in fact. more details: he is from temasek polytechnic, diploma in business studies. oh why do so many people that i know end up within temasek polytechnic? so strange? Nanyang polyteachnic??? erm... lets not talk about the details.. more importantly, the fact that i like nanyang polytechnic is more important. i do not really see the point in travelling that far when i can get them at a nearer polytechnic. if i spend too much time to and fro from school, it would definitely leech into my personal time and the time that would be available would be strapped. i do not see the point. so yep, nanyang poly rocks to the moon and back!
out of topic! rewind rewind... hmm.. what else do i have to say about him? lives in the north part of singapore which means that we might be ending up staying very near to each other? might even be one of my neighbours???!!! searches through my entire block!!! sorry. was just crapping away uncontrollably
maybe all the people in his company find him a pleasant guy to be with. but what troubles me is his treatment towards me. does he usually act this way to all the people in his company? i don't think so. seems that a guy would not usually act that friendly and stuff towards everybody. and yep, wei xin, you might be right (although not sure) that he might have a similar liking for me. thanks for the reminder that i missed the chance. *i am a weakling! ho ho ho... sobz*
another thing, when i was talking to a guy named andy and when fu hao was going down soon, i looked at his direction. a bell was attached to the door and made a clang when he pushed the door. he looked at me and smiled in his boyish way and made a thumbs up sign before turning to leave. i was smiling within myself while stiffing myself into a serious look and listening to what andy had to say.
a strange thing is that, the company's people always ask potential colleagues the question. "so what do you think about this company?", "so what do you think?", "how is it?", "so how?". in the last question i replied " what how?" because i did not know what they wanted to ask for. felt kinda stupid when my friend laughed behind.
then when he asked this question, i said "yep, i came today to check things out.." then he said "check what out? yo yo check it out~" *point is: he might be shereens potential crapper opponent but i think at least he is funny.. shereen's i really don't know how to laugh. sorry okay? i tried!* felt stupid but laughed along. maybe his image of me might be slightly tarnished because of my stupid answers but never mind that, as it was to suppress my feelings for you.
oh god, i think if you guys were to make me to say these to him, i will freeze on the spot and shatter into pieces! so i will say to my heart's content for now. small confession of mine: actually i considered investing in the job's franchise enterprise solely for him but its too costly and i do not have enough money and time on hand. who knows whether he might have a girlfriend already? that makes me think, i might hate my brainy self at times for anticipating things and plotting out things in a mindful manner only to find myself sobbing in the end~ and i did not really pay attention to the details on the nature of the job just to be listening to his voice and laughter... okay okay~ i am guilty!
_-_-when will i get to see you smiling for me again? your smile as transient as the life of a rose, lightened my life just like fireworks; making me wake up to find out that it was a dream_-_-
10:02 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
yoz guys! i think that the reason of having this post is probably to act as a reminder to people as well as me to stop blogging for a moment. i will complete with the previous post's sequel some other day but keep the tags coming in! adios for now
11:38 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
okay i am back again to make another yet juicy and eventful day's entry. so let us start from the beginning...
i agreed to meet my friend to go and have a look at her company. all along i thought that the company was personally set up by her but it turned out to be another person's company. but its alright to me since i thought that was still okay and that any thing that i could manage to pick up and learn from would be really nice. i met up with my friend at raffles place mrt station and we went down although she was late for quite a few minutes, i waited patiently while skimming through my chinese novel. one thing to be glad for was she said that i knew how to package myself well and that i had transformed quite a bit plus my nice looking nails. that made my day.. thanks
so we headed down to the company earlier as she suggested me of meeting several other people before the program starts. this company is being set up in shenton way. the idea alone was quite cool and i thought 'okay, why not just give it a try?'
hmm... actually i shook hands with a lot of people and i can't recollect how many people i have actually shook hands with. except for some distinct ones and those that i have conversated with for a longer time. actually i told some of you guys some of the happenings but i am kind of pricked by my guilty conscience by spouting some bad crap about certain people... so sorry!
okay.. enough about the nonsense.. but i actually feel better by confiding here.. the stuff that the people talked about the job itself seemed quite attractive and i was overwhelmed by the fact that a lot of the people there are teenagers like myself so it was real great to see their determination and maturity in working.
but i am really sorry to say i am not determined to do this and that i do not have enough capital plus all the sorting out. so i would first like to say sorry to joyce first and foremost (although you said that it was okay) that i am sorry to have wasted your time but i appreciate your effort.. hope that your suggestion of you, me and phoebe going to paris to carve out our own niche together is for real. although it seems like a faraway dream and we might not be going to do the same thing, lets work hard together and achieve our dreams! hee! great little ambition set up by three girls, right?
which brings me to the point that i might not have the wish to study german already.. after rational thinking, i want to learn french more. great right? if i master french as well, i will know english, chinese, japanese and french already! cool~ makes me more excited than ever.
okay! the crux and the topping on the cake! i met a guy yesterday that really "electrified" (dian dao wo) me. first his life story. its not a very glamourous one and a slightly bitter story to me. but i admire him because although he is 17, but his thinking is already much more matured than those of his peers and even some that are more senior than him in age. he comes from a single parent family where he is now residing with his mum and his siblings. boils down to the fact that he will be the major and sole breadwinner in the future. actually he looks real good looking in my opinion as well as very absolutely good looking in terms of his character and the outlook of his life too. actually you guys may claim that i have taken a liking for this fu hao guy but more so that i am admiring him for his strengths that i may lack at certain times. so its more of respect similarly.
and now his rank is going to reach that of a manager's so its real great and shows that he is real determined in being a mature and responsible young adult. in fact i feel proud if i was in his mother's shoes. but conversely, i feel that his father is extremely selfish in leaving the entire family solely to his mother. that sucks right? WHAT A MAN! sorry guys and fu hua, i can't help feeling this way.
but fu hao, (although you might not see this post) i admire you for having this cheery outlook on your life.
haha... maybe it might be true that i have indeed fallen for a guy within such a short time but honestly speaking i have never met such guy that is above average in looks, responsible, mature, ambitous in a way and cute within a unique way. that really made my day although i was kinda stressed when talking to him as i was struggling to stay calm. thank god for blessing me with a face that does not turn red that easily if not everytime that he looks at me in the eye, i would give it all away just by my indicator (my face that is). struggling to sit real straight and stay calm, struggling to remain relaxed, struggling to look away at times without being rude. so i went home real exhausted as it was extremely hard for me to achieve all this while monitoring his every action. and yup, the voltage was a little too high! :P
he always stares at me in the eye or either just look at me straight. kind of scary to me and in the middle he will crack certain jokes and laugh in a boyish manner that i just find cute. some of the lingos that he uses are also quite unique. sat there and conversated while he was explaining the terms to me for around 2 hours. kind of considered as an achievement to be tolerating all the while.
*ya guys.. i know its really a lot for events to happen within an extremely short period but there are still a lot of things that happened too and this is the main part that i would like to say... add in the sub parts maybe sometime later.*
he has hit me in my soft part and left me helpless.. which makes me wonder about the truth whether i have really liked him or is it liking for his strong character. he is not really rhe type i am looking.. more of a boyish guy to me. which reminds me that he is not really those type that i may be looking for.. but who knows for him, i would change my criterias?
enough said, this might be day dreaming on my wishful part so let me indulge in my own dreams and never come out of the wonderful fairyland that all started when i first met him... okay , thats all for now. wrote a lot and am not sure whether you guys will be able to digest the information down thorughly.. write a sequel to this entry real soon! adios~
9:19 PM
Saturday, August 06, 2005
okay.. here to add another post to the blog before i start to lose interest in it again.. although it just seemed like only a few days but a lot of things certainly have happened in my life that made me grow.
*okay.. shereen! i added a link to your blog liao.. other friends, i will add the links to your blogs too, shortly.
maybe i will write what come to my mind first. yesterday was the last session for my japanese lesson that marks the end of the beginner two class for japanese language.. seems to be much of a relief to me now that i have endured through all the lessons despite there were a lot of people dropping out of the class midway. there were only me and two other older ladies. it was kind of boring though. but we have pulled through it together although sometimes i do not have any topics with the more elder ladies.. generation gap they call it maybe.
yesterday was the examination that determines my standard in japanese. i did not have time to study and was mugging throughout the night. seriously, there was a lot of things to study and i was practically taken aback when i was mugging the night before only to be at the second book which was more essential. my hands and legs were practically shaking because it was partly due to the fact that there were a lot of vocabulary that i should be touching but on friday i was lazing around as there were no lessons.
when it was the time for the examination, i did it slowly carefully analyzing whats the sentence structure. i was very sure that i was doing it real slow but i finished the entire paper quite quickly before the ladies got their paper done and i checked through and corrected several errors so i am more of relieved now. will be going on the next week to collect my results.. hope that i do real well.
after the exaination,the teacher talked with us about a lot of things. what i could remember more of my replies were laughter and plain smiles. because their topics were kind of out of my generation. one part that i could remember was that the teacher claimed that he was having food poisoning due to eating too much of buah duku i guess. they were bought by his friend and he kept eating. his poor stomach ached for two consecutive days. he claimed that he has had several food poisoning cases one of which he fainted on the road.. kind of dangerous thing and he was sent over to the hospital.. even he admitted that it was not too good of a thing to be alive at times as he was always struck by bad luck.. he said "ze me ye mei si" meanign whatever that happened, he still did not die. that brought me to a point that his life was even more tougher than a stupid cockroach... eww..
that ended my day happily as i went home a rested preparing myself for upcoming days that would bring even more exoeriences and obstacles to me... adios
*hajimete atta hi o ima mo oboeteiru?"<---- do you still remember the first day that we met?
^^sending this to someone i still like over 5 years^^
9:18 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
this is the third blog of amilia! first being a personal blog which i will be planning to revamp it into an ayu interest site, one blog which is shared mutually among my friend and i and the last which is this blog on hell butterfly.. i absolutely love the colour combination which took my fancy and is my colour theme! thats exactly why i chose this template over a cuter and feminine template
this is the inital post to view how it looks on the blog itself... i will be popping in later after the changes! adios
7:17 AM
