some little thoughts

i will be entering my OL days soon, hopefully! (laughs)

is everyone genki as always?? man, i am slightly tired and am cooling down after some 'kickass' exercise session.

i hope i can get a good paying job soon... its depressing to hear that no one is supporting you for further studies.. to think, there was a promise that no matter how hard it was, i'll have support through to uni.. guess adults forget such promises they made, and yet break it easily. (sobs) i cried before, was weak, but i picked myself up and looked forward. i'm not going to cry anymore. i guess thats more important, ne?

i'll let the financial aspect rest. i asked my parents solemnly whether they could support me for overseas studies and expressed my interest towards waseda and keio. thank god i did not mention toudai. of course, i'll repay them back but currently its hard for me to fork out such a sum. mum kept quiet but kusai oyaji was throwing literally the entire department store load of wet blankets at me. he asked me whether i was worthy of such unis. that was the last straw and that made me agitated.

'hey! look at me! i am your daughter, am i not? why must you be so sarcastic? kusai oyaji!'

mum explained nicely saying that maybe i could look for scholarships. scholarships nowadays have too long a bond (5 or 6 years??) and everything would be uncertain, yea? the original discussion got heated up when agitation showed in my tone even though i was trying hard to suppress it. kusai oyaji couldn't read the atmosphere (KY) and i flared up.

mum: 'this is not the way of discussing and asking favours from others! look at your attitude!'

i couldn't say this out but all i thought was, 'i intended to talk amicably but KY kusai oyaji had to rub it in. at least show some support to your daughter, mentally? why is it so hard for me to expect you to at least talk on the same level as me? being all high and mighty and always saying no before hearing me out'

the next day, i was scheduled to meet up with tracy, and she being the elder, she was able to offer more constructive comments like staying in SG is not so bad after all. overseas is ok if parents are supportive (there i was thinking, its a big no!) NUS is prestigious, and NTU plus SMU... she explained to me nicely and i could not see why i would be flaring up if people explained things to me more properly. as parents even? i gave up hoping anything from them and am back into my loner world in my residence. (that sounded wicked, IDK)

dragon, i am gonna slap this answer in your face for asking me why i am forsaking rest and always finding jobs to keep me occupied to the grave. listen well. it is a little daunting that i would have to take care of my uni fees. thanks for your concern, but i am fine really. don't complain about why i am doing this, i (always) have my reasons.

people, recommend me jobs with 1600 or more dollars in pay cos i am in desperate need of it. ami will be eternally grateful to you! free hugs~

okay, i am done with my preaching. (laughs) people, take care ne!